TIER 01
Tarnished Copper
Congratulations. You have a card. Use it wisely.
TIER 02
Unpolished Copper
Free tap water (cold).
TIER 03
Oxidised Copper
Free tap water (room temperature, clean glass).
TIER 04
Standard Bronze
Free yoghurt (no toppings, no spoon).
TIER 05
Discount Bronze
Free yoghurt (no toppings, spoon provided on request).
TIER 06
Premium Bronze
(Waitlisted)
Free yoghurt (one topping: strawberry only, no substitutions).
TIER 07
Bronze-Adjacent
5% off entry. Tuesdays only. Before 5pm. Excludes public holidays, long weekends, and days that feel like a Monday.
TIER 08
Pewter
Acknowledged by the bouncer on arrival (nod only, no eye contact guaranteed).
TIER 09
Matte Silver
Verbal acknowledgement from the bouncer (one word, chosen by him).
TIER 10
Polished Silver
Free conversation with a performer (2 minutes, she selects the topic).
TIER 11
Reflective Silver
Queue skip privileges (valid if queue has fewer than 3 people).
TIER 12
Premium Silver
(Discontinued)
All Polished Silver benefits apply, which are also discontinued. We're working on it.
TIER 13
Bronze-Gold Hybrid
Free kebab (plain, no sauce, no salad, no questioning it).
TIER 14
Fool's Gold
Free kebab with garlic sauce. No other sauce. Garlic is the only sauce.
TIER 15
Regular Gold
Birthday acknowledgement. Verbal only. No song. No cake. No eye contact from staff.
TIER 16
Gold Plus
Reserved locker access (shared locker, combination available at the bar, must supply own padlock).
TIER 17
Platinum Economy
Assigned a dedicated seat (any available seat, subject to availability, no view guarantee).
TIER 18
Platinum Business
Your first name will be remembered for the duration of your visit. Not after.
TIER 19
Diamond-Dusted Platinum
Three seconds of direct eye contact from a performer of your choosing. They do not have to smile.